Deconstructing Toxic masculinity and the Alpha male

Deconstructing Toxic masculinity and the Alpha male
Safe to say, men are expressionless therefore, masculinity is intolerant of emotions. Albeit, It is best that we understood that there is a divergence between a Toxic masculinity and  the Alpha male. The vast study on masculinity has averagely constructed expectations from this gender, proving a male that acts otherwise weak.
Toxic masculinity is a set of certain male behaviors associated to harm to the society and men themselves. Generally, toxic masculinity involves cultural, social pressures. The idea that men should act tough and avoid showing emotions is detrimental to the health. Although acting tough for everyone_ male or female is harmful, but the truth is the male gender  finds it difficult to speak up.
Going by researchers, masculinity is of three components: Toughness; a notion that men be physically strong, emotionally callous and behaviourally aggressive: Antifeminity; the idea that men should reject anything considered feminine such as showing emotions or asking for help: Power; to gain respect,men must work towards obtaining power.
Unfortunately, relationships suffer the most from toxic masculinity. Men are afraid to be vulnerable around their patners and the people they claim to love. To them, the fear of seeming weak is greater than their sanity. In the world of today, toxic masculinity has destroyed lots of relationships especially, romantic relationships. It has interfered with the relation in the relationship.
“I am a man, what do you expect” is a familiar statement with the male gender that one would sometimes wonder if it were a follow come from creator. Confronting a man this days for his wrong would only produce “my bad”, “let it go”, “forget it” and at the point where you seek an appropriate apology, he sermons you on taking things to heart or making excuses for others, thereafter, the apology with little or no remorse comes forth.
The term “alpha male” on the other hand, is largely misunderstood and mistaken to reference s bad or toxic. But in the real sense, alpha isn’t about blunt,emotionless. Alpha male should be reckoned with intelligence, successful, masculine and principled. An alpha male is one who uses power and influence for good, to protect. He  is a man of his words therefore many mistake him for rigid and dominant . He is cool but probably not with everyone , confident although mistaken for a narcissist, assertive therefore mistaken for aggressive. In the case of Alpha men, not sharing their problems with people is to avoid unnecessary worries.

It is not totally surprising that the Alpha behavior get confused with the Toxic masculinity. If it is not closely looked into, it overlaps. To every man out there, it is only a thing line between Alpha behavior and the Toxic masculinity. Life is easier when you speak up, you ain’t s loser because you have failed. Let go of the lumps in your chest and allow your sanity return.
Odekunle Peace Oluwafeyikemi,
Department of English,
Lagos state university.

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