By By Ganiu Bamgbose, PhD
About two years ago, a student met me on campus and asked me if he could slide into my DM. “Slide? DM?What do those words mean here?” I curiously asked, not angry yet. Then he said DM means direct message and he wanted to know if he could reach out to me on WhatsApp. What a way to talk to one’s lecturer! Earlier today, I was listening to a Nigerian preacher, Apostle Femi Lazarus, who recounted how one young person had sent him a message and said “I wanna ask you…”. This reminded me of my own experience and I immediately saw a gap in communication and etiquette that has to be urgently filled.
Communication is more than the ability to speak. It is the capacity to connect, persuade, build relationships and demonstrate respect. Etiquette, on the other hand, is the practical expression of good character through appropriate behaviour. When communication deteriorates, etiquette suffers. Unfortunately, one of the growing concerns in contemporary Nigeria is the gradual erosion of communication etiquette among many young people. While the youth remain energetic, creative and technologically savvy, there is an observable decline in the quality of interpersonal communication, conversational competence and moral decorum. This trend deserves serious attention because communication skills are no longer optional in today’s competitive world; they are indispensable.
One noticeable challenge is the inability of many young people to sustain meaningful conversations. Beyond exchanging greetings or discussing trending topics on social media, many struggle to engage in thoughtful discussions. Conversations quickly become awkward because participants often lack the patience to listen, ask relevant questions or build on another person’s contribution. Many are accustomed to short chats, emojis, abbreviations and voice notes, making face-to-face communication increasingly difficult. Consequently, opportunities to learn from conversations, establish networks and leave lasting impressions are frequently lost.
Closely related to this is the growing misuse of language. Courtesy expressions such as “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “I appreciate your time” are becoming less frequent in everyday interactions. Requests are often presented as commands rather than polite appeals. Greetings, once regarded as an important aspect of Nigerian culture, are sometimes ignored or treated as unnecessary. Some young people also fail to recognise that language should vary according to context. The way one speaks to friends should differ from how one addresses parents, teachers, employers or elderly members of society. The inability to adjust one’s language to suit different social situations reflects not confidence but communicative immaturity.
The influence of digital culture has also contributed significantly to this decline. Social media encourages speed rather than reflection. Many young people have become accustomed to expressing opinions instantly without considering tone, audience or consequences. Online arguments filled with insults, sarcasm and disrespect gradually become normalised and eventually spill into offline interactions. The distinction between casual online communication and formal real-life communication becomes blurred, producing individuals who find it difficult to communicate professionally.
Another disturbing trend is the weakening of moral standards in communication. Respect for age, status and human dignity appears to be diminishing in some quarters. Interrupting elders, responding aggressively to correction, mocking opposing views and publicly humiliating others have become increasingly common. The desire to “trend” sometimes outweighs the commitment to truth, civility and empathy. Communication that once fostered unity and mutual respect now occasionally becomes an instrument of ridicule and hostility.
Listening, an essential component of communication etiquette, is equally suffering. Many people listen merely to respond rather than to understand. Conversations become competitions instead of opportunities for mutual learning. This poor listening culture affects friendships, workplaces, classrooms and even family relationships. Misunderstandings multiply because individuals are eager to speak but reluctant to pay careful attention to others.
These deficiencies carry serious implications for the future of Nigerian youth. Academic qualifications alone no longer guarantee success. Employers increasingly value soft skills such as communication, emotional intelligence, teamwork and professionalism. A brilliant graduate who cannot communicate ideas clearly, interact respectfully or maintain professional decorum may lose opportunities to a less academically accomplished but more socially competent candidate. Interviews, presentations, negotiations and leadership responsibilities all require polished communication skills.
Entrepreneurship is equally dependent on effective communication. Customers patronise businesses where they feel respected. Investors support entrepreneurs who communicate vision with clarity and confidence. Partnerships flourish where trust is built through honest and courteous interaction. Poor communication therefore translates directly into reduced economic opportunities.
The consequences extend beyond employment. Relationships, marriages, community leadership and civic participation all depend on effective communication. Individuals who cannot express themselves respectfully or resolve disagreements constructively may struggle to build lasting personal and professional relationships. In a society already challenged by ethnic, political and religious tensions, poor communication further weakens social cohesion.
The encouraging news is that this trend can be reversed. Families must consciously teach children the values of courtesy, respect and attentive listening. Schools should give greater emphasis to oral communication, public speaking and interpersonal skills alongside academic excellence. Religious institutions, youth organisations and community leaders should continue to model respectful dialogue and ethical conduct. Above all, young people themselves must recognise that communication is a skill that improves through deliberate practice. Reading widely, engaging in meaningful conversations, observing proper etiquette and learning from constructive feedback are practical steps towards becoming effective communicators.
Nigeria’s youth remain one of the nation’s greatest assets. Their intelligence, creativity and resilience are evident across various sectors. However, these strengths must be complemented by communication etiquette that reflects maturity, respect and emotional intelligence. In a world where opportunities are increasingly determined not only by what one knows but also by how one communicates, reclaiming the lost culture of courteous and effective communication is no longer merely desirable—it is essential. The future belongs not only to those who possess knowledge but also to those who know how to communicate that knowledge with wisdom, dignity and grace.
(c) 2026 Ganiu Bamgbose writes from Lagos.
