By Monsurat Oreoluwa GHANNI
The way we treat people says a great deal about our character, upbringing, emotional intelligence and level of social awareness. Whether at home, in the workplace, public gatherings, religious settings, academic institutions or social interactions, courtesy is an essential quality that makes human relationships meaningful and peaceful.
Courtesy is the practice of showing politeness, respect, consideration and thoughtfulness in our dealings with others. It involves recognising the feelings, rights and dignity of people, regardless of their age, position, social status, educational background or level of influence.
One important aspect of courtesy is knowing the right words and expressions to use. Simple expressions such as Please, Thank you, Excuse me, I am sorry, You are welcome, Kindly, May I, Pardon me and I appreciate your assistance should form part of our everyday vocabulary. These expressions may appear ordinary, but they communicate respect and demonstrate good manners.
Courtesy also requires us to understand how and when to communicate. Avoid speaking harshly, shouting at people, using insulting language, interrupting conversations or making unnecessary remarks about others. When someone is speaking, listen attentively. When you disagree, express your opinion calmly and respectfully. Remember that having a different opinion does not give you the right to disrespect another person.
Another important element of courtesy is respect for personal boundaries. Do not invade people’s privacy, go through their belongings without permission, interrupt their private conversations or demand attention when they are occupied. Learn to seek permission before using someone’s property, entering an office or making requests. Respect people’s time by being punctual and keeping to agreed appointments.
Courtesy in the workplace and public spaces is equally important. Greet your colleagues, acknowledge people who assist you, respect junior and senior members of staff, observe queues and offer assistance where necessary. Do not treat people who occupy lower positions as though they are less important. The way you speak to security personnel, cleaners, drivers, waiters and other service providers also reflects your character.
Furthermore, courtesy should extend to our use of mobile phones and social media. Avoid speaking loudly on the phone in public places, sending messages at inappropriate hours without considering the recipient, making offensive comments online or sharing people’s pictures and private information without their consent. Digital communication also requires politeness, restraint and respect.
It is equally important to understand that courtesy is not weakness, fear or pretence. You can be firm without being rude, correct someone without humiliating them and disagree without becoming hostile. Being courteous does not mean tolerating disrespect or allowing others to violate your boundaries. It means handling situations with maturity and self-control.
Ultimately, courtesy is a reflection of character, emotional intelligence and social responsibility. Your academic qualifications, professional achievements, financial status or position of authority do not excuse discourteous behaviour. A person may occupy a high office and still lack basic manners. Equally, someone with little formal education can demonstrate remarkable respect, humility and consideration.
Let us therefore cultivate the habit of treating people with kindness, speaking with respect, listening with patience and responding with thoughtfulness. Small acts of courtesy can prevent unnecessary conflicts, strengthen relationships and create a more accommodating society.
Remember, people may forget what you said, but they often remember how you treated them. A simple greeting can brighten someone’s day, a sincere apology can restore a relationship, and a genuine expression of gratitude can make someone feel valued.
BE POLITE, SHOW CONSIDERATION AND TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT. COURTESY COSTS NOTHING, BUT ITS VALUE IS PRICELESS.
(c) 2026 Monsurat Oreoluwa Ghanni writes from Lagos State University
