Happy Birthday Son As You Clock Two, I Was Afraid You Won’t See This Day
It is a new day, a new year and a time to start getting comfortable with realities. Between when you were one and now, streams of events have passed through the eye of a needle but none kept me on the edge like those midnight occasions I had to cross check that you are still breathing.
Dear Moyoade, it gives me joy counting the numbers with you, making efforts to get the alphabets right and hearing you call Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad Dad, at every opportunity you have. Being the one entrusted with your daily upkeep in the last one year has opened my eyes to the rigours a woman bears to keep the home at peace. The chaos your learning process unleashes I must admit is a smoothing disturbance. Every parent complains yet they cannot do without it.
My Son, it is indeed a great feeling being available during this your spectacular tantrum moment, it is like living a phase i missed in my own growing years because your grandfather, the Carpenter, was never there. Please understand that human potential is infinite, you can become everything you wished for and transverse the world like a colossus if only you manage every opportunity.
Dear Ubuntu, the path to unlocking the infinitesimal of human’s obscured being is seeking knowledge and grace, maybe a bit of luck. Take my words for it, as I wrote a year ago, you must seek knowledge as hidden in the pages of books, travel the world to be acquitted with cultures and take heed to the cries of the downtrodden, God had a purpose for making them so many.
It was Martin Luther King Jr. writing from his Birmingham jail who said, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly,” a man can never be what he ought to be until those surrounding him are what they ought to be, this is the inter-related structure of reality. This is the essence of the name you bear… you are Ubuntu!
Remember, if you want to change the world, be ready to ride against the wind, knowing that Kites rise against, not with it – a certain amount of opposition will do you some good. Someone once told me that power is not just given; one must strategize to get it because those you want to get it from are not sleeping, same goes for everything worth having in life – family, wealth, health and love. If you want to change the world pick up your pen and document today.
Dear Ubuntu, people are always comfortable with you when you do their bidding, but your mental acuity comes from being able to say no, mind my words, dear son. I do not say you should displease people, but know you can’t please everybody, you are neither Messiah nor God. Accept your limit, do favours when you can but never displease yourself to please others. Understand the clear difference between selfishness and self-centeredness.
In my few years of living, I have realized, we judge ourselves by considering what other people think of us, forgetting that people pretend to be loyal, show affection when it pleases them and abandon you when it suits them. Dear Abdul-Muqsit, everything has a motive, it is our perception of the motive that determines how we live with it. Pay attention to my words for I am your father, do not be a people-pleaser, it’s a waste of time, people who indulge in such attitude are easily manipulated. It’s normal for others to feel angry or disappointed, you can’t please everyone.
Sometimes in February 2017, the Nigerians health system tested my faith, at the National Hospital in Abuja, your future was put on the line when a doctor erroneously diagnosed you with acute paralysis, a new viral infection she calls it. Without concrete examination, she listed about 10 laboratory test you must undergo at 2am. In truth, I was afraid, something rare to my person in recent time. I was caught in-between placing you on immediate admission and taking you back home. I took a gamble with the reassurance and support of your mother, Mujidah Mojeed-Sanni (nee Amusa), bought few drugs across the counter and took you home. Atlas, you were only having mere pains that subsided when your mum applied palm kernel oil and sheabutter. If I had left you for the Doctor, you might have died of wrong diagnosis.
Now, let me tell you the lesson learnt. One, Fear is not bad, it only means you are rational and thinking. Fear means you are not stupid and know the consequence of your actions, however, what makes your fear your weakness is the inability to take the right decisions amidst your terrifying situation.
Two, the women around you to a large extent will determine who you turn out to be in life. Most decisions men take are guided by the approval of their wives, if you see a bad man, be conscious of the wife too. Dear Adesola, always listen to your Mother, her intuition is often always right.
Three, that somebody is clothed in the insignia of an expert does not make their judgment right. If I had failed to use my intuition and general knowledge particularly being up to date on situations you probably will not be using your leg to walk. However, remember some people are good at their job but not every one of them. By the time you grow to the age of comprehension, you will see that the house bulbs are white, they weren’t always so. It used to be golden yellow but life changes every time. So always leave room for improvements understand the myths but embrace reality.
Dear Ubuntu, know that I love you, it is not mere words, the depth is immeasurable. Please grow to question the norms; there is always another way, a better way and the right way. Never be a Know-it-all rather a learn-it-all, if you claim the formal, you erroneously think you are an expert and foreclose learning. But if you chose the latter, you will remain a student, learning every other day, meeting people and growing invaluable network. Remember, the greatest people in the world are those who know how best to manage their human capital. Manage the people you know.
As you celebrate today, #MamaUbuntu #BabaUbuntu, little #Uhuru and #AbujaGoonz whom you have spent a good number of your days with wish you a tomorrow full of riches, comfort and human compassion. In Barney’s voice, “We love you, you love us, we are one big family, with a great big hug and a kiss from us to you, won’t you say you love us too”.
Letter To My Son #Ubuntu At The Count Of One