By Guest Writer (Ifiok Gabriel)
What then is the beauty of maturing if not unlearning to relearn? I feel as humans, we may have at one point or the other let this mindset or mentality rather have the better part of us. Of course, I will always say it is normal to feel overwhelmed but while this is going on, we shouldn’t be carried away but rather, think of ways to get out of life problems and keep moving; and to do this, the very first thing to do is to delete the concept of THE VICTIM’S MENTALITY.
Be you a student, a struggling adult, a boyfriend/girlfriend or even a leader, the moment you delete this victim’s mentality from your head, I feel life will be less complicated.
“What is this girl talking about?”, you may ask…
The Victim’s Mentality is a situation whereby a person sees him/herself as a victim in any given circumstance, even when there is evidence to show otherwise.
Let us look at this from a student’s level.
You see, a lecturer of mine made me understand that the best an educator, within the 4 walls of a classroom especially, could do to you is to introduce a topic to you. It is then in your hands as a student to go further and get to understand whatever topic it is.
Further complications while studying the topic, you go back to your educator or better still, find any other means to ensure you study well. Giving the excuse of “we were not taught in class” or “the lecturer never gave us a hint about this topic” is merely a justification for failure and what happens when you keep on giving excuses without making changes? It is rather too early in life to start victimizing yourself simply because “you were not taught in class”,
From an adult’s point of view of life, I will be making mention of Ben Carson. Getting inspiration from his semi educated mother who faced the hardships of life that comes with being uneducated, refusing to tag herself a victim and still scaled through life, though roughly but still got to achieve her goals, Dr. Carson resents the victim’s mentality.
He advocated for personal responsibility and self reliance. His mother’s mindset enabled and shaped his and his brother’s attitude towards challenges and this was what also led to his rise from the bottom of his class to become one of the youngest directors of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins by the age of 33.
Amazing, right? How does one overcome the victim’s mentality?
* Accept responsibility for your actions because you are the only one who controls them.
* Change how you think about your life: when one method does not work, you should try other methods too to check for possible changes.
* Self care and compassion: if you really love yourself, you would do everything and anything to take you out of that position of being a victim.
* Educate yourself: for one to grow (in all ramifications), you should learn to unlearn to relearn.
Of course, we as humans can not control certain things in life but I believe if we heed to the steps given above to overcome the victim’s mentality, then life could be eased a bit.
Ifiok Gabriel writes from Lagos.
