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Ms Okonji, a mathematics teacher, walked into the classroom and directed a puzzled question to one of her students, to ensure that they were not just cramming the times table, but, have an understanding of what it means.
She asked: “If 2*0 is 0, 0*2 will be what?
The student stayed silent for a while racking his brain. He finally thought aloud to her and said: “Since 2*0 is 0, then 0*2 will be 2.”
Ms Okonji smiled and asked further “Why is that?” The student reiterated: “since 2*0 is 0, then 0*2 should be 2.”
Mr Dele, an English tutor, walked into the same class and asked the same student a question. It seemed it was a day orchestrated to embarrass this student; an unlucky day for him as reluctant students see. He(Mr. Dele) directed a question to this student that goes thus: “if a wear for children is written as children’s wear, a wear for men will be written as what?” The student thought quietly in his heart and wrote his answer to be men’s wear instead of the one word ‘menswear’.
A counselor asked a lady, “why don’t you want to get married?” She said, “I don’t want to be caged. I don’t want to be in bondage. I don’t want to be a punching bag. I don’t want to be dependent nor become a slave to have my needs met. He asked, “who told you, you will be a slave, and in bondage?” She said, “my mom stopped living wholly when she got married; everything about her personal joy and pleasure ceased”.
The counselor asked a young man still, “Why don’t you want to get married?” This young man responded, “I simply don’t want to be compared to other men.” “And who told you that?” the counselor asked. “It’s every married man’s predicament. It’s a reality. I see it play in my father’s relationship with my mom. He has to be like one man or the other to satisfy my mom,” he replied with a feeling of irritation.
Many years ago, the human species didn’t imagine that they could fly on air. It seemed an impossible mission to see someone in person, 50miles away, or worse still, in another continent, without going to their location. Yes, it was incredulous to say that one can go to the market and make payments without leaving the house. It would be described a statement of the mad to interact with different people in their homes, or on their way, all at once. If not mad, one would be seen as a demi-god. Footwear was a magnificent tool that belonged to the rich. But here we are today.
We can deduct from people’s experiences or even ours, that we will end up in the same marital unpleasant situation, hence, the refusal to get married as a means of escape.We can also deduct from history, that if we must evolve into a better and higher version of ourselves, it is needful and a necessity to keep an open mind regardless of what we think we know.
In essence, our memory could be our greatest asset or greatest destruct. We could choose to be better as a result of the bad examples seen or experiences we’ve had; or be the conventional partners we have known from those examples/experiences. We can decide to further our education as a result of the trend of financial struggle and illiteracy in our families and communities; or remain complacent and sorry for ourselves. We can choose to practise good public speaking, or bask in the false glory of “we are all shy in our family”. We can choose to be faithful and trustworthy friends as a result of a painful experience of betrayal, or become unloyal and extremingly suspicious.
It is a common saying that “you can allow your situation to either make or mar you”. Of course, whether it makes or mar us, it depends on what we choose to do with our memories- to make it AN ASSET or A DESTRUCT.
Abass Latifat
