By Ogunbowale, Tolulope Sobiye
Let us imagine a talking drum. It has two faces. A drummer can turn it around. The face being played rests under the arm while the other waits to shine. Then they change places. This is how the drum is designed. It is meant to turn. Human life is the same. We have many sides which life turns us so that each side can experience them all. Each of us has a public side which is the face everyone sees. It is the hardworking, friendly, cheerful and responsible self we show every day. But we also have a private side which is hidden under the arm. This side holds our fears at midnight, our secret dreams, our worries and our deepest thoughts. Our inner side feels every beat from the public side even when no one else notices it.
When life changes, it turns the drum. The side that was hidden must come out and the side that was visible must rest. Rita experienced this. She was a teacher for thirty-five years, known for her dedication and care for her pupils. Then she retired. Suddenly, the role that defined her was gone. Life turned her drum. The hidden part of her, her love for farming was shown and she found new purpose in working on her farm. David also learned this lesson. He was always the strong and fearless one who gave advice and never cried in public. But when his beloved father died, that strong side could not bear the weight of grief. Life turned his drum. His vulnerable side emerged and he learned that asking for help and shedding tears did not make him weak. It made him human.
This turning is not a mistake. A drum must turn to make different music. A tree cannot keep its leaves in winter, can it? In the same way, we must change with the seasons of life.
When you were young, you were a learner. You asked questions and depended on others. Now you are a teacher who is guiding co-workers or showing your child how to ride a bicycle. The drum has turned. The learner rests while the teacher plays.
When you are busy with a career, your active side leads. When that job ends, your dreamer comes forward to plant a garden, write a book or explore new ideas. Every side has value.
Because life will call on every part of us, we must care for both sides of the drum. If you only strengthen your public self and ignore your private self, you will struggle when life needs that hidden strength.
Spend time alone and write down one honest thought. Ask yourself what you truly want and what you truly fear.
At the same time, care for your public self. Be kind to yourself and others. Stay healthy. A drum cannot make good music if its skin is cracked or loose. In the same way, your life feels broken if either side is neglected.
Sometimes the turn is scary. You may lose your job and feel useless as a provider, but your learner side may rise, ready to gain new skills and open new doors.
You may fall sick and lose your independence. Then your patient side may teach you the strength of stillness and the courage to receive help.
When the turn comes, do not fight it. The drum is still yours. Only the song has changed. A slow song is not less beautiful than a fast one. They are both music.
You are the whole drum. You are not one role or one season. You are gentle and tough, speaker and listener, leader and follower, teacher and student. Life will turn your drum again and again.
So when the turn arrives through retirement, loss or failure remember the talking drum. It does not break when it is flipped. It simply creates new sound. You will not break either. You will discover new parts of yourself. When your public and private faces begin to work together instead of fighting each other, something powerful happens. You become more balanced, more confident, more compassionate and more at peace. Your decisions become wiser and mind becomes clearer. Which one is resting? Which one needs care? Your inner or outer side?
Life is not about choosing one face forever. It is about being ready to play both. So tune your drum. Keep both faces strong. Then, when life turns you, you will not be afraid. You will simply play the next song. The world needs all your songs. The loud songs and the quiet songs, the old songs and the new songs. So when life turns your drum, just dance to it. Your music matters. And what a melodious song, it will be.
