By Dear MJ,
As the summer sun rises across the horizon of Highfields, I can sense your thoughts, even though the need to stay afloat keeps you from embracing the warmth you desire. I understand the loneliness and emptiness we feel in our current situation, and I know you have the desire to make things right. But can we continue pretending? Sometimes, life presents us with a crossroad, and making a firm decision becomes as essential as breathing in fresh air. Besides, we have an abundance of air here in Doncaster, so why should we pretend?
Today, on your 30th birthday, I want to take a moment to reflect on our journey together and express my deepest feelings. It’s true that the boys and I have consumed a significant part of the last 10 years of your life, making your adolescent years more challenging than they should have been. We’ve moved from place to place with limited options at our disposal, making your youth more laborious. You’ve had to make tough decisions that often didn’t warrant the stress. Yet, you’ve given your best, and I don’t think we can pretend any longer.
Throughout the years, I’ve tried my best to conceal my true feelings, pretending that everything is perfect and that I remain unaffected by the challenges we face. But I can’t deny the sacrifices you’ve made—putting your dreams on hold while you nurture the dreams of our children and me. You’ve selflessly sacrificed your space to ensure others could live comfortably. Despite the unfriendly pressures and my sometimes difficult attitude, you’ve maintained your composure. I don’t want to take those sacrifices for granted, but I also can’t continue pretending.
It’s no secret that I have a hot-headed nature, and I easily get irritated by the entitlement culture that surrounds us. However, despite my flaws, you’ve always been there to calm me down, to ground me in reality, and to show me the grace and beauty of a different perspective. You have a remarkable way of gently nudging me in the right direction, even when I resist. I am truly grateful for the love and understanding you bring into my life. Bearing and nurturing three boys within a decade is no small feat, and deep down, I know it’s time to let go of the pretence and embrace the truth. And the truth is, I love you unconditionally.
As I reflect on the past year, I’ve come to realise the importance of questioning and seeking the truth. Doubt has led us to ask important questions and has helped us uncover truths in various aspects of our lives. Many times, I’ve reached the point of wanting to end arguments and relationships, yet you never engage in further dispute. Instead, you let the days pass and subtly bring up the same issues, allowing me to see beyond negativity and reconsider the value of the positives.
I see how you make me make those calls and address those issues, even when I insist I don’t want to. You prioritise family bonds and friendships, and when I remain adamant, you proceed to sustain those relationships as if acting on my behalf. Such grace is hard to comprehend unless one walks in your shoes. I acknowledge your sacrifices in recent years—you’ve practically lived with nothing to achieve something for all of us. In this moment, I pray for every family going through tough times, hoping they receive divine intervention through the grace of the Supreme Being. It may be challenging, but we should remain thankful for His mercies.
Jane Austen, an English novelist, once said, “What is right to be done cannot be done too soon.” These words resonate with me as you enter this new phase of your life. Turning 30 marks the end of one chapter and the beginning of another—a time of commitment and determination, closing the chapter on your twenties and embracing the thirties. In the coming years, I know you will make decisions that will shape the next decade of your life. While I cannot guarantee the future, I can assure you that if God spares my life, I will be here to support and help you, just as you have been unwaveringly committed in supporting me and our boys.
Omolola, in truth, you have achieved so much in these past years, even though you may not fully realize it. Your unwavering commitment and determination shine not only in our relationship but also in your personal endeavours. You have set goals and pursued them with resolute focus. Your accomplishments speak volumes about your character and inner strength. Today, as we celebrate your birthday, I want you to know how proud I am of the person you have become. You have utilised your time wisely and made the most of your youth by building a solid foundation. Together, we have created a life filled with love, joy, and limitless possibilities. At thirty, you exude grace and elegance, and I eagerly look forward to more years of joy in your presence.
The future holds so much promise for us, and I can’t wait to witness what it has in store. As long as we have each other, we can overcome any challenge and achieve anything we set our minds to. Over nearly a decade, we have shared countless moments together. We have laughed, cried, and supported one another through thick and thin. You have been my best friend, my lover, and the devoted mother of our children. I simply cannot imagine my life without you. On this special day, I want to express my profound gratitude for having you by my side. You are my solace, my partner in crime, my confidant, and my endless source of inspiration.
Happy 30th birthday, my Wuraola. May this new chapter in your life be filled with even more love, laughter, and unforgettable moments. Let us raise a toast to many more years of shared adventures, boundless love, and growth together.
Happy Birthday, MJofLife! Behind these seemingly simple birthday wishes lie emotions that have deepened and grown stronger with each passing year.
With all the love from ‘The Boys’—Muqsit, Muqeet, and Mukthadir. We love you unconditionally.
Yours Lovingly,
Sanity
